Sunday, August 10, 2008

There are very few things I like about swimming.  This is highly unfortunate since I am a triathlete and the three events in triathlons are swimming, biking, and running.  I think I would probably do much better in my age group if the events were biking, running, and movie watching.  Regardless, I love racing and I enjoy almost all of the training with the exception of the endless laps spent in the pool.

It starts with the locker room.  For some reason, locker rooms are a place where people get naked and stay naked.  I have never quite understood this.  It's great to be comfortable with your body, but the rest of us don't need to be comfortable with it, especially if you decide that being naked is the perfect time to teach your three year old how to tie her shoes.  

Next, of course, is the swimsuit.  Now, generally, if I am having a hard time motivating myself to run, I simply buy a new pair of running shoes.  I then get so excited to wear them, I go running right away, and it almost always feels like the best run ever.  Swimsuits do not elicit the same sense of elation.  In fact, I cannot think of a single person I know who gets excited about buying a swimsuit.  I never buy swimsuits in a store; instead, I order them online, and hope I guess the right number.  (Speedos do not come in traditional 4, 6, 8; instead they come in numbers like 37, 39, 41...  I am still not sure what size I wear).

And, speaking of speedos, they leave far too little to the imagination.  Men of all ages do not look good in them, not the 60 year old with the weathered skin in the lane next to me or the 30 year old with 4 percent body fat doing push ups on the pool deck.  I am not suggesting everyone switch to board shorts, but I do think the jammers are a little more flattering.

Then, there is the actual swimming part.  I know quite a few people who find swimming relaxing.  They tell me "it's a nice stretch."  These are either people who have been swimming all of their lives and have an efficient stroke, or people who do a modified breast stroke thing and never put their head in the water.  For someone like me, who didn't learn real stroke mechanics until I was in my early twenties, swimming is hard.  It's the one form of exercise where you can't assume the lady who is 8 months pregnant in the lane next to you will go slower than you.  In fact, due to her extra buoyancy, she will probably kick your ass during a 500 free.  Not only that, since there is no where to look while swimming other than down at the bottom of the pool or to the side while you are breathing, you will be able to count how many times she laps you during the 500.  This will result in irritation, especially when you stop and watch her swim.  During this time you will think to yourself "wow, she is moving quite slow."  This, of course, will make you wonder what others think of you.

Swimming is monotonous, there is no change of scenery, and, as previously stated, I am not very good at it.  However, I recently discovered that, while I may not be motivated to get in the pool because of a new swimsuit, I am quite fond of new goggles, particularly if they are red.  For some reason, I found the reddish tint they gave the world quite interesting.  For the 40 minutes I was in the pool that day, I felt I was escaping real life.  For the first time, I was able to tune out my surroundings and think about putting one arm in front of the other.  The world melted away, and the water became welcoming.  I often suggest to people when they are having a difficult time exercising, buy a new exercise outfit that you can only wear to the gym.  It's a great way to bribe yourself when you are hitting a mental wall, which we all do at one point or another.  Who would have thought my new outfit was disguised as red goggles?

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